Saturday 7 April 2012

Hose-Pipe Ban in Southern England!

Whip-Crackingly Good Thrashings!
This is a disaster! One has got hose-pipes all over the place and now one is not permitted to use them!

And it's not because of the drought either! It's because of those loons at the water companies! Total incompetence.

It's all very well them banning the use of hoses but tell me this; what am I now supposed to use to thrash the living daylights out of the gardening staff? Hey? I bet then haven't got an answer for that!

With a hose, if you get the swing right it acts like a whip! And with enough practice one can master the crack of the whip to sound just as the servants shout in pain!

2 comments:

  1. i personally think you cant beat a good old fashioned clip round the head with the latest copy of Filthy Stinking Rich Weekly, followed by a quick douse of earl grey square in the face - nothing says you are an incompetent waste of a servent like a well-aimed scolding beverage.

    Fiddlescoombe-Partridge

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  2. Fiddlers! hmmm... yes, never thought of a scalding beverage before. You're pretty good at this. One feels envy seeping into one's blood. Toodle-pip

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