Saturday 8 September 2012

Religious Conversion

Had some noveau-religious people knocking on my door the other day. I thought they had come to read the gas metre at first as they were very well dressed. This was my first mistake! 

The second mistake was to not question their opening statement which went 'Do you want to be happy?' Stupidly I thought that these men from the gas board were there to give me free gas for a month, no! Instead they gave me free gas for about twenty minutes as they blabbered on about how their God had made them happy.

Well they weren't making me very happy I can tell you. They promised me that conversion to their religion would mean enlightenment. Enlightenment?! What the blazes is that supposed to mean? 

They went on to describe that Enlightenment would mean that while everybody else’s life would be dark mine would shine in amongst theirs like a deep golden shaft of light.

And if you ask me that exactly where I should have thrown these people; down a deep shaft, preferably one leading to a coal mine.

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