Sunday, 24 March 2013

The Coriolis Effect

No Coriolis Effect with Trixabel.
Was looking down the plughole yesterday eve when I noticed that as the water drained away it all went in a clockwise direction down the hole!

One has noticed this kind of thing before, notably on occasion, as one was thrashing one of the servants. As the swine was lying in the gutter. He passed water in his trousers and as he did so much it all flowed into the drain in a clockwise rotation.

After doing some research one has learned that the water always spins away in a clockwise direction on the top of planet earth whilst on the bottom of planet earth it always spins in an anti-clockwise direction and that this is an absolute!

Codswallop! It’s not an absolute at all! That’s what I say and I say ‘Tish and Nonsense.’ This is clearly nonsense. Doesn’t matter where one is on Earth water and urine can spin any direction it damn well likes and here is how I know...

 I was at the Gogo-Pogo Night club last night and there was Trixabel doing her routine with her tassels. And I tell you something. There was no external force influencing those swingers and lawks-a-lordythey were spinning it two directions at the same time! If there was a Coliolis Effect there then I can tell you it wasn’t doing very much!

If anyone out there doubts this then pop along to the Gogo-Pogo. For a small fee Trixy will give you a demonstration of the lack of a Coriolis Effect.

Sunday, 10 March 2013

3D without Glasses!!

Lady MacBeth
Was dragged out last night by Dame Brunhilda Babcock-Heatherstonehaugh last night. Don't mind her but she likes things like culture and education. The only culture one prefers is that which one finds in a distillery if you know what I mean?

Anyway turns out that it was a fun-a-plenty evening in the end as we went to a theatre to watch a film called MacBeth. This was at Drury Lane some place that one finds simply ghastly.

Anyway to my surprise the entire show was in 3D. Not only that but technology as moved on so rapidly that one didn't need to wear 3D glasses. One could simply watch the whole performance unaided.

And the actors just stood out from the background all the way through! Incredible! There was one part where the actor appeared to forget his lines and I was a trifle surprised that they hadn't edited it out before showing one supposes that one can't have everything. Still the entire thing was amazing it looked as if the actors were actually standing on a stage performing their lines. And the amazing thing that happened was some fellow in the audience let his blasted mobile telephone go off during the show and one of the actors in the film appeared to look at this rapscallion and tell him to bugger off! How do they do it?

The only odd thing about it was that as the evening drew on the show started to become out of focus. One noticed this earlier on but after a swig of the old fire-water the focus came back. But after a while no quantity of liquid engineering was able to bring the show back in to focus at all, despite it all still being in 3D.

Eventually the entire theatre shut down the lights as one suspects that the 3D effect had drained the theatre of all its power. Very sad

Friday, 8 March 2013

International Woman Day

Celebrating Woman
Right then so it's International Woman Day today. This movement is relatively new insofar as it started in the Former Colonial Imperium which is now called the United States of America. 

Woman Day was first observed in February 1908 don cha know and was supported by a load of socialists from the American Socialist Party, can't ever imagine a party called that not being bombed by the CIA but that is another matter.

Anyway so Woman Day celebrations are in order! So myself and a few of the fellows;

Fruity Metcalf, Boxey Mathers, Nickelarse McSpadden, Smellytooth Martin, Lefty Wright, Satellite Dave, Herny Werny, Nudge O'Rielly, Popeye Roe and Hyphen Fitzgibbons-Boots Junior are all going out to celebrate.

Friday, 1 March 2013

Lord Rennard is a Sex Pest?

Wants It
Just been reading about Lord Rennard  of the Liberal Democratic Party.

Apparently this rapscallion has the compulsion of asking women in his political party for sexual intercourse. It's a disgrace!

All the women concerned in these allegations have said 'No' to his sexual advances and who can blame them either, I mean look at him! This great fat shit should consider himself lucky to even be able to speak English let alone attract women. What on earth is going on in his head. Doesn't he realise that some women have taste?