Sunday, 28 July 2013

Trayvon, Zimmerman, Dooley & James. Legal Clarity in the USA

Guess I must have done it!
One likes clarity in all sorts of things, for example whether to shoot animals or not to shoot animals. To eat Beef Wellington or to not Beef Wellington etc. As far as one is concerned clarity extends to the law of the land too but in this country one finds it all double-dutch. 

However, those forever innovative Johnnies in the United States of America and particularly the Southern State of Floride which is named  after a toothpaste ingredient. The Floridians have sought to make their laws tip-top transparent for everyone to see and understand. 

In particular the recent George Zimmerman case saw the man let off despite shooting a Black American teenage boy called Trayvon Martin, whom was unarmed despite Zimmerman, claiming that the boy was. Zimmerman, a chappie of Hispanic origins, although why that would be with a German name of Zimmerman, claimed self-defence.

Guess the Other Guy Did it
Then the following week another case in which a Black Jamaican chappie called Trevor Dooley, although why he is Jamiacan with an Irish name is also beyond me, also in the state of Floride was found guilty of killing his neighbour a Mr David James in a dispute over a skateboard despite claiming self defence. Hmmmm...

Upon reviewing both these cases it seems to me that the legal system in the State of Floride has been simplified and clarified so no person living there can construe its legal system with the slightest ambiguity:

  • If you're white you're innocent
  • If you're black you're guilty

One knows one is a bigoted old fart that doesn't give a monkey's arse about anyone but even these two cases take the biscuit! One supposes that it is not called Disneyland for nothing.

Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Ivory Coast Prison Solutions

Prison Barge
Just been reading about a ghastly little prison riot in the town of Abidjan on the Ivory Coast. The prison houses some of the Ivory Coast's most lethal little shits the country has every produced.

Their notoriety was compounded and exacerbated by the civil war there are few years ago in 2011 in which only two or three British people had to leave their premises for the United Kingdom. Thousands of local people were also killed. 

So the prison is home to many of those accused of war crimes, indeed former President Gbagbo Baggins and his wife were even there at one point before being carted off to the Hague in Holland for crimes against Huge Manatees. Strange, I thought Manatees lived in the New World! So anyway the riots are being conducted by inmates and some of them have been killed.

Well it's just not good enough!! You need to show this complete shower of individuals who is in charge by taking charge! You can't ask em politely to pull themselves together and snap out of it! These people are sick.

So my remedy is quite simple. First thing close the prison down. Then move all the inmates, pronto, to a new facility. This can easily be done sharpish by putting them all on a prison ship there are many of them available, for instance I saw one in a documentary on the telly the other day. It was very large, had lots of space, could even fly and it was called Battlestar Galactica. Once on board, give the prisoners some decent nosh and something to do and that'll soon have em quietening down. 

Then, when the ship is full with this detritus criminal scum you can move on to the next stage. For me this is the most important part but there is the problem of not only how to sink it but also where. Sink it wrongly and you may only capsize the damn thing leaving some of the inmates alive. Then even if you do sink it properly you may sever an oil pipeline or a telegraph cable.

Sunday, 21 July 2013

Abu Sakkar: Cannibal and Animal?

Just been reading about a chappie called Abu Sakkar. This man, like so many others is involved in the current ghastly little war in Syria.

This war is one of those civil wars which by their very nature are nasty little blazers that put father against son, neighbour against neighbour, restaurant manager against restaurant manager and generally everybody against everybody else.

Anyway this one in Syria has been ongoing for the last two years or something like that and it is the first full scale civil war that can be watched on youtube, internet and all that sort of thing.

Anyway this Abu Sakkar has proved himself to be a nasty, savage fellow of the lowest possible moral declination because he cut out the heart of one of his foes and then proceeded to eat it! I mean can you imagine that!? It’s a disgrace! What kind of man is that? This is inhuman! I can scarcely contain my abhorrence a moment longer and The Lord alone knows what Miss Jennifer Aniston thinks about this!! She must be horrified!! 

Aniston: Horrified
I mean even when my regiment was involved in the Mau Mau uprising at our lowest ebb we didn’t stoop this low with our captured foes. No Sir by Jimeny we did not!

No what we did was to lightly sauté the heart first in a flavoured butter and serve it in a nice white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic, all washed down with a crisp, clean and if I may say a rather fruity little Jean-Marc Brocard Chablis Vau de Vey 1937.

Friday, 5 July 2013

Bird Flu 'H5N1': Conspiracy Theory

Bird Flu
Just been reading about that alleged Bird Flu Virus called H5-N1. Apparently it has passed but a new strain, called H7-N1 is on its way and some boffins are concerned that it is going to bring about the destruction of mankind.

Now some people think that that's a bad thing, others may quite like the idea, I don't know. So don't bally-well come to me asking for an answer on that one. Anyway, one decided to familiarise oneself with current goings on about the subject and looked at a documentary about the thing last night with a bottle of shabbers to accompany one whilst inwardly digesting the arguments. By the time the documentary was over one was able to conclude that the whole thing is a load of tosh.

H5 N1
I mean this H5-N1 isn't even a virus. It's a silly little, dustbin shaped robot that goes 'beep boop waaa waaah' every now and then. How can it possibly bring about the destruction of mankind? Even it's friend, another silly nancy-boy of a Robot called C3-P0 is completely incapable of doing anything remotely destructive.

This is one of the worst conspiracy theories I have ever encountered. I could have shat a better theory than this and with my eyes closed too.

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

S.P.W.A: Life and Afterlife

As one gets on a bit one has to start thinking about how one is going to leave this earth, what to leave to whom and also one's legacy. 

Whilst a trifle morbid these things are a fact of life and one has to find a way to come to terms with how much of a loss one will be to everyone once one has gone. To pass away peacefully with serenity and tranquility is much desired and is also a way for those close to one to come to terms with the moment of passing. Indeed some set aside some finances to help with a charitable fund of some nature or install a bench in a local park for others to sit and ponder life's meaning.

Well not me! When I die I'm going to take as many people with me as I can. Why should I be the one to die? I've paid my blasted taxes to the blasted Government for my whole blasted life so they can jolly well get their act together and find a blasted cure. I didn't drop bombs on working class people in the East End during the war only to leave this planet with the job undone.

No if I die then the blasted servants will be coming with me for a start! I've had to pay their wages for years! And that strike their on, now is in it's second year, well, they won't have anyone to pay em anything if I snuff it tomorrow!  And then there is that rotter of a son of mine Cuthbert Ware-Armitage. That perishing little shit has been extracting money from me since the day he was born and I'm damn well going to see to it that he doesn't get a penny after I've gone.

In fact I've left instructions that if I die then all my money is to be burned and all my property blown up so nobody can get a hold of it, especially the government! Then all my land is to be napalmed, sprayed with Agent Orange and then dug up and dumped in the sea. Nobody's getting a thing out of me!

And then I've ordered all the people responsible for burning my cash and blowing up my property to be shot. And then to have those people shot too. And then have their houses and streets bombed and erased from the face of the...