Women only Carriages on the Metro?

Right then! I've had to endure the loonacy of listening to the radio and people blabbing on about the most ridiculous notion. It all centres around the idea of women-only-carriages on underground train stations. 

The idea has been proposed by an MP (who else could invent such a thing) called Claire Perry who is also a transport minister. The idea behind it is due to the ever increasing abuse that women suffer at the hand of arses to cowardly to start on someone their own size.


Well I'm sorry but it's not good enough. I mean first of all St Andrew's Royal and Ancient Golf club in Scotland has just voted by 85% to allow women to join the club after being in existence for two hundred and sixty billion years and in the same month we're contemplating segregation! It's all or nothing don cha know. One appreciates that Claire Perry is doing this out of safety concerns but her solution is arse!

So what's to be done? Well I've got several tip top ideas that will resolve the matter once and for all. (I solve problems) So first thing is to allow separate carriages for all sorts. Carriages for women, carriages for men. Carriages for scum and carriages for genteel folk and chaps such as my incredible good self.

Then there can be carriages for nice but not sophisticated and vice versa, you know the sort of thing. However, and this is the clincher, you can also have separate carriages for heavy breathers, flashers, creeps, sickos, morons and people who have uncontrollable wind. You simply wait until the thing has filled up, take it to a long dark tunnel, uncouple it from the carriage in front, roll it along the track until it gets to a disused piece of line then brick up the tunnel so the only people they can interfere with will be each other, marvellous!

I think this idea is a winner myself I do so wish people would ask me about these things.