Trouble-Making |
Showing posts with label Society. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Society. Show all posts
Sunday 15 February 2015
How to Prevent Hatred on Twitter and Facebook
Sunday 1 February 2015
Tip-Top Counter-Terrorism Plan
Sainsbury's |
Right then, down to business, first thing to do is to locate your city that is under threat say for example London. Once you've done that you will need to evacuate the place. This must be done pretty sharpish as if these terrorist twits get wind of your plan they may be inclined to make a pre-emptive move thus rendering your plan very silly and you don't want that happening. I fancy the evacuation should take no more than four hours, anyone left in the city after that is probably on drugs anyway so who's going to notice if they have left or not?
Sunday 25 January 2015
Return the Elgin Marbles Say I!
George Clooney |
Err... anyway for those who are not well versed in this matter the Elgin Marbles are a collection of Classical Greek marble sculptures, inscriptions and architectural pieces, hand crafted by Davros Phidias and his assistants a million years ago that were originally part of the temple of the Parthenon and other buildings of the Acrapalot.
Saturday 17 January 2015
Terrorism in Paris
Errorists |
There was error in Paris as extremists brought fear and panic to the streets. 'I awoke in the morning and it was just an ordinary day but by the time it had finished there was fear, panic and error everywhere.' said one Paris resident.
What had started as an ordinary day finished with thousands of journalists from all over the world, except the Islamic State spreading fear, panic, lies exaggeration and error.
Sunday 11 January 2015
How to Prevent ILLEGAL Immigration.
Tuesday 6 January 2015
Cross Dresser Closet Conundrum.
Right then, it's only the sixth day of the new year and already I'm having problems at Ware-Armitage Munitions Inc.
You may recall Ware-Armitage Munitions Inc is a defence industry manufacturer for all domestic and external needs that need defending against things attacking your defences.
Well that's enough of that. So here on the sixth day of the new yearone stinker of an employee had tried to go and shaft everything at my expense. I reckon it was deliberate myself but due to me being very clever I outsmarted the bleeder him.
You may recall Ware-Armitage Munitions Inc is a defence industry manufacturer for all domestic and external needs that need defending against things attacking your defences.
Well that's enough of that. So here on the sixth day of the new year
Sunday 7 December 2014
Ladies: How to Tell if Your Man Truly Loves You.
Thursday 6 November 2014
How to Obtain Clean Cutlery at a Restaurant?
Dirty Fork |
This is why I feel it is important to make a stance and ensure that the important things in life are maintained at all costs. Take, for instance, cutlery. Clearly, clean cutlery is essential to maintain high morale else anarchy ensues and all that sort of thing.
Sunday 19 October 2014
Women only Carriages on the Metro?
Right then! I've had to endure the loonacy of listening to the radio and people blabbing on about the most ridiculous notion. It all centres around the idea of women-only-carriages on underground train stations.
The idea has been proposed by an MP (who else could invent such a thing) called Claire Perry who is also a transport minister. The idea behind it is due to the ever increasing abuse that women suffer at the hand of arses to cowardly to start on someone their own size.
The idea has been proposed by an MP (who else could invent such a thing) called Claire Perry who is also a transport minister. The idea behind it is due to the ever increasing abuse that women suffer at the hand of arses to cowardly to start on someone their own size.
Thursday 16 October 2014
Ridiculous Smoking Ban in Public Parks!
Banned! |
No! Well neither do I but what's happing in this photograph will soon become an historic anachronism if a bunch of, loons stalking the corridors of power have their way!
What Lord Ara Kharzi of the London Health Commission is trying to do is to ban smoking outdoors in public parks, beaches, outdoor swimming pools, outdoor sex parties and zebra crossings all over Greater London area in order to make everybody healthier. It's a disgrace!
Monday 13 October 2014
Solution to one of Middle East Matters
250 yards south of Ashford Bypass |
Thursday 28 August 2014
Organic Food
Right then, there seems to be a terrible hullabaloo these days about organic foods. Apparently a lot of
modern foodstuffs are industrially produced over-salted, over-sweetened petrochemicals that, whilst taste quite delicious, are in fact no more nutritious than a cold shower
This all means that what we eat is slowly killing large percentages of the population which is generally frown upon. Also manufacturers of these 'foods' are getting away with it, disgraceful, and also making a lot of money in the process, umm..
modern foodstuffs are industrially produced over-salted, over-sweetened petrochemicals that, whilst taste quite delicious, are in fact no more nutritious than a cold shower
This all means that what we eat is slowly killing large percentages of the population which is generally frown upon. Also manufacturers of these 'foods' are getting away with it, disgraceful, and also making a lot of money in the process, umm..
Sunday 24 August 2014
Actors: A Modern Menace
Jolie Good Show |
I first had a suspicion that something was a little fishy when I saw a magnificent documentary many years ago in which a businessman had brought dinosaurs back to life on a remote island in the Pacific Ocean by extracting DNA from mosquitos that had been preserved in amber from tree sap etc.
Well it's just occured to me what the blazes is going on! Some of these documentaries have actors in them portraying people in real life! That's deception! It's misleading! It's a disgrace!
Far too many actors are distrubed individuals anyway, some of them are even disturbed, constantly trying to be the centre of attention, talking about themselves, copulating with as many people as they can get away with, astealing from clothes shops because they feel as though THEY shouldn't have to go through the indignity of having to actually pay for things, urinating in telephone boxes, hitting people, posing in restaurants, snorting drugs, starting up strange religions, joining strange religions and generally showing orff in public. Have they no shame?! (actually this sounds like quite a good night out!)
Friday 15 August 2014
How to deal with Religious People (who have a gun at your head)
Thursday 15 May 2014
What To Do If Your Plane is Hijacked?
Stewardess |
By their very nature they tend to be tricky situations and at first glance may seem hopeless. However, I've come up with this marvellous four-step programme in order to deal with such a predicament and thus minimise the effect it could have on your winter break.
Sunday 9 March 2014
Need of a Psychologist?
A Psychologist |
One first realised this a fortnight ago when, upon entering the local pub to use the toilets the clientèle immediately exited the establishment. This has actually been happening for the last fifteen years but one has only just put two and two together.
Sunday 2 March 2014
The Scandal of Homelessness and Empty Houses.
Empty Slum Property |
The statistics are shocking and I had to get my butler to explain them to me. However, in essence there are over nearly 1,000,000 empty homes in this country but at the same time approximately 1,770,116 households awaiting a place to live! It's a disgrace!
Sunday 23 February 2014
How to Help A Man in Quicksand.
Speaks English |
So I've come up with this marvellous strategy to follow in order to deal with a chap, any chap, who finds themselves sinking and needs help.
So imagine you turn a corner off your local high street and right before you is a man quickly sinking in quicksand and is calling for help. Let's imagine he has a name, err... off the top of my head let's call him Piers mOrgan. What's the first thing to do?
Saturday 22 February 2014
Danish Giraffe Murder & EU Hypocrisy
Wednesday 12 February 2014
Selfies: A Modern Disgrace!
Needs to be alone. |
I don't know about you but I find this to be absolutely disgusting! If people want to give themselves a selfie then the least they can do is do it in private under the bed or in the study. Really I think it's an absolute disgrace! What is even worse is that people apparently take photographs of themselves whilst they are doing it! This is an abomination!
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