Strategy to End World Poverty

Poor Bastards

One is fully behind the reduce poverty campaigns dont cha know! It's outrageous that in the 21st Century there are thousands and thousands of poor people in the world. No millions! Yes millions. It's a disgrace! All these people could be doing something fruitful and productive with their lives.

This is what needs to be done to reduce poverty levels?

1. Well the first thing is that these layabouts should go out and get a blasted job!
2. Second thing is that all wages for servants should be cut! At least by two thirds.
3. Thirdly, all basic foodstuff prices should be put up to unacceptable levels thus encouraging these individuals to pull their socks up.
4. Finally, anyone remaining after the above recommendations have been implimented should be taken outside and shot. Although they will probably be outside anyway.

If that doesn't bring down the quantity of poor people nothing will.

More Wit

That Totty Mrs Totti

Was at another function last night when I was told by Lady Hilda Dooms-Patterson or Doomers as we call her, that her friend Mrs Margarita Totti  from Italy was dropping by.

Doomers went on to tell me that Mrs Totti was a bit of a sight to behold and that I was to keep my hands off of her and under no circumstances was I to be a Lothario because Mrs Totti was married.

One retorted

 'Make sure you remind Mrs Totti that she is married before she meets me'

By Jove one still has got the old whit don't cha know!

Giving up money for Lent.

If you see this fiver. It's Mine!

Right! It's Lent. that means i have to bally-well forego something for the next forty days and nights to keep the local sodding vicar off my back otherwise the blighter will be wanting money or some such forfeit for yours truly to cough up.

Well I'm not standing for that! I gave him £5 last year for the church roof. When I asked him when would be a good time to get the chaps up on it to remove all the lead flashing the swine told me that that fiver was for restoring the roof and not for me to take it down.

He then refused to return that fiver! What a ghastly character!

Cheer up for Christ's sake!

Add meaning to life; Shoot some animals

Just found about some place in Switzerland called Dignitas.

Apparently if you've had enough of things you can go there and top yourself! For Free!!

What sort of person does that? They must be sick! I mean I know things can get one down every now and then but really life is for living! Look on the bright side, keep your chin up and all that.

If you think that there is no hope or are wrapped in despair and can't face life any more then do what I do. I go outside and shoot some animals. Never fails don cha know!

Iran's Nuclear Matter

Just been reading about these Iranian jonnies trying to get a hold of a nuclear bomb. I thought that man in charge was completely doolally! What's the point of letting people like that get hold of a nuclear bomb? I mean the first thing that sort do with nuclear bombs is bomb people.

I say he should be dealt with and pronto. And what is the best way to do that? I'll tell you the best way; round him up, put him in a field and nuke the bastard stinker!! That's the only language that sort understand!