Friday 28 November 2014

Black Friday Spreads to UK

Black Friday Victim
Just been reading about that dreaded sickness called 'Black Friday" arriving in the UK!

The sickness started in the United States of America in 1961 in Philadelphia where people went mad on the day after the Thanksgiving holiday.

The Black Friday sickness is spread by contact with consumer goods. Most particularly virulent is with consumer electronic goods but can just as easily be spread through white goods, fashion items and cheese sandwiches.

Friday 14 November 2014

Latest Eurozone Forecast Results

 Growth Forecast 
Results just released this morning show disappointing results from both France and Germany over the third quarter. Both countries have been affected by the economic slow down that has brought havoc across the Eurozone. 

In total Germany has seen only a 0.1% rise in news stories worthy of talking about which, in practical terms means a total of 10,352 news stories across the media in the third quarter. Meanwhile in France news stories have done better than expected at 0.3% for the same period equating to nearly 17,645 different news stories.

Thursday 6 November 2014

How to Obtain Clean Cutlery at a Restaurant?

Dirty Fork
Etiquette is becoming more and more important these days as more and more illegal immigrants enter the country. As this facet of modern life encroaches deeper into our daily lives standards start to slip, leading to carelessness, carelessness leads to apathy and as we all know apathy leads to global conflict. 

This is why I feel it is important to make a stance and ensure that the important things in life are maintained at all costs. Take, for instance, cutlery. Clearly, clean cutlery is essential to maintain high morale else anarchy ensues and all that sort of thing.

Sunday 19 October 2014

Women only Carriages on the Metro?

Right then! I've had to endure the loonacy of listening to the radio and people blabbing on about the most ridiculous notion. It all centres around the idea of women-only-carriages on underground train stations. 

The idea has been proposed by an MP (who else could invent such a thing) called Claire Perry who is also a transport minister. The idea behind it is due to the ever increasing abuse that women suffer at the hand of arses to cowardly to start on someone their own size.

Thursday 16 October 2014

Ridiculous Smoking Ban in Public Parks!

Banned!
Right then! Do you see this photograph? do you? Do you see anything wrong with it? Do you see a war crime being committed? 

No! Well neither do I but what's happing in this photograph will soon become an historic anachronism if a bunch of, loons stalking the corridors of power have their way! 

What Lord Ara Kharzi of the London Health Commission is trying to do is to ban smoking outdoors in public parks, beaches, outdoor swimming pools, outdoor sex parties and zebra crossings all over Greater London area in order to make everybody healthier. It's a disgrace!